Relationships

Relationships

Relationships are interpersonal; i.e., they involve two or
more people. Some relationships are very informal, e.g.,
your relationship with the clerk at your morning coffee shop.
Other relationships are highly intimate, such as the
relationship you have with your best friend or your spouse.
You choose some relationships (e.g., friends, lovers), but
others are externally imposed (e.g., family, co-workers).
Your ability to foster successful relationships depends a lot
on your past experiences and the skills you develop within
your relationships. But you can also use relationship experts
to help you learn about yourself and increase your
relationship skills.

People exist in relation to one another. We cannot function
in isolation; we all have a need to love and be loved.
Relationships are how we try to meet those needs. While
relationships can be wonderful and have positive benefits,
some relationships are unhealthy and can negatively affect
you. Relationships have an impact on your life, even if you
are unaware of the extent to which a relationship is
influencing you. You need to learn how to make the most of
your positive relationships. But you must also learn how to
recognize the patterns of negative relationships so you can
take charge, make the necessary changes, and break the
pattern.

Relationship building requires factors such as trust, respect,
and acceptance. Relationships also require skills such as
communication and teamwork. Some researchers have
found that you need to be good at the basic types of
relationships, such as casual friendships, before you can be
successful in the more advanced relationships such as
marriage. In other words, there is a hierarchy of
relationships and you need to have mastered the essential
skills from each of the lower levels of relationship before you
are ready for the other relationships. Most also agree that
you need to become the person you want to be if you expect
to end up in a successful relationship.

Kissing

Do you wish you knew how to kiss better? Are you
worried about your first kiss? Kissing happens the
world over, yet many people are too anxious and can’t
enjoy kissing for its simple pleasure. Kissing is pure
oral pleasure. Kissing should be fun and sensual and
exciting.

Why You Should Kiss More

Kissing is not just a prelude to sex; kissing is
wonderful in itself

Kissing is rated the most enjoyable and
sensuous of all foreplay activities

Many men and women want more kissing in their
lives

Women especially love to kiss; it’s a huge turn-on
and women can get very aroused just from
kissing; a woman’s skin is very sensitive and
kissing only increases that sensitivity

A man who recognizes the power of kissing and
kisses often and well will have a happy partner
who wants to make him happy too

Great kissing is more than just technique, kissing
involves connection and passion, romance and
love; if the eyes are the window to the soul,
kissing is the window to inner thoughts and
feelings

Many people feel that kissing is more intimate
than sex, so kissing increases the mental and
physical connections that you need to improve
your relationship

Setting the Scene for Kissing

Kissing is not just about lips locking; kissing needs the
right context

Creating the right mood for kissing is very important –
sitting or standing physically close increases your
chance of getting (or giving) the kiss you want; eye
contact, holding hands, watching a romantic movie all
make that kiss more inviting

Be kissable – yes, you need to make sure your breath
is fresh, but you also need to be open to physical
closeness and flirting before you kiss; then be willing
to relax and go wherever kissing takes you and your
partner, as long as you are comfortable

Most people prefer privacy when kissing, so find a
quiet place before kissing

Music and slow dancing increase the senses and so
make people more open to kissing; music and the
physical closeness of dancing can ignite passion that
turns a ‘routine’ kiss into an amazing, never-to-be-
forgotten sensual kiss

How To Kiss

Relax and enjoy all your senses when you kiss

Most people close their eyes when they kiss, but it’s
not absolutely necessary; kissing with your eyes
closed can heighten your other senses though and so
the kiss can be even more pleasurable

Move your heads in opposite directions so your noses
don’t get in the way when you kiss

Start slowly, don’t go too fast as you begin kissing

Be subtle, gentle, and sensual as you kiss

Closed mouth kisses for a while; deeper, French
kisses come later

Gently press your lips on your partner’s lips as you
lean in to kiss

Kiss only the upper or the lower lip for an exciting, yet
simple kiss

Remember to kiss the side of your partner’s mouth,
her cheeks, face, eyes, and neck

Lips are great, but don’t forget to use your hands as
well to gently touch and stroke your partner’s face
and neck, or run your hands up and down his back
and arms

Kiss, nibble, and suck wherever you feel like it, but
not so hard that you leave a mark

Watch and ‘listen’ to how your partner reacts to your
kisses

Kissing should never be boring because there are so many
ways you can kiss. Take the leap and go for some variety in
your kissing. Even kisses that usually steam up the room
need a bit of mixing it up with other kisses. Some specific
suggestions for great kissing include:

First Kiss

Whether your first kiss is the first in your life or the
first kiss with a new partner, that first kiss can make
you anxious

A first kiss will be easier if you develop a relationship
with the person before you kiss

If you want to kiss someone, you need to become
comfortable being physically close

Indulging in some romantic flirtation such as holding
hands, gazing into one another’s eyes, and sitting
close all help set the scene for kissing

Use mental rehearsal to prepare you for that first
kiss, your kissing will be so ‘natural’ that the person
you are kissing will never guess it’s your first kiss

Close your lips and gently kiss your partner on the
lips; no tongue or wetness

Gently press your lips together for a kiss that lasts a
few seconds; length of kiss will change over time and
depending on how the other person likes to be kissed

Butterfly Kiss

Not too many people have experienced butterfly
kisses, but those who have love to add this kiss to
their repertoire

Think of a butterfly gently brushing by your face

Now feel its wings quickly but gently fluttering against
your cheek

Gentle kisses on the cheek are very sensual; add the
fluttering and the kiss is even better

You are lucky because you can simulate that
fluttering and ‘kiss’ with your eyes, or more specifically
kiss with your eyelashes

Practice fluttering your eyelashes or blinking really fast

Feel the fluttering of the butterfly kiss against your
hand

Try the butterfly kiss on your partner’s cheek (or
other parts of their body)

Intermingle these gentle kisses with more aggressive
nips and kisses for increased heat

French Kiss – Soul or Tongue Kiss

French kissing is the most intimate of kisses; yet it is
also the most intimidating kiss

Some people are wary of French kissing because
they think it’s unhygienic or they’ve had bad
experiences in the past; but if you learn how to
French kiss well, you and your partner can enjoy
great pleasure and intimacy from this kiss

Very sensual and exciting when done well, French
kissing is worth experiencing

Though there is no ‘right’ way to French kiss, ‘the
wetter the better’ is not generally true; learn how to
swallow your own saliva so you don’t drown your
partner as you kiss

Breathe through your nose so you can enjoy French
kissing for as long as you like

Remember that sensual hand movements are part of
great kissing

Never rush into French kissing; start with gentle,
closed-mouth lip kissing

Then, slowly part your lips and ‘listen’ to your partner;
if she is ready for the intimacy of French kissing she’ll
open her mouth even a little

Let your tongue slip inside for a moment; savour the
feeling

Move your tongue gently, searching inside your
partner’s mouth

As you and your partner relax and enjoy this kiss, run
your tongue along the gums and the roof of her
mouth; keep ‘listening’ for your partner’s reaction and
stop or change your kissing style as needed

When your tongues meet in a sensual dance, you
might actually feel an ‘electric’ charge run through
your body as you kiss

Twist your tongue and taste one another for as long
as you can continue this kiss

Gentle, and sometimes more vigorous, sucking on
your partner’s tongue is another variation on the
French kiss that adds sensuality to this kissing
technique

Don’t push too hard or too deep at first when you
French kiss; you need to find your partner’s comfort
level; deeper kissing might be possible as time goes
on

Teasing is a fun part of French kissing that you
shouldn't ignore; move your tongue back and forward,
in and out as you tease your partner and invite him to
kiss you passionately

Casual or Friendly Kiss

Kissing is fun and doesn’t need to be confined to
romantic kisses with a partner

Casual kisses between friends of the same or
opposite sex can be great kisses too

Friendly kisses can be on the cheek or lips; your
preference

Go ahead and pretend you’re French and kiss on
both cheeks, but avoid open-mouthed kisses - don’t
French kiss a friend!

Some people are very uncomfortable with casual
kissing; you may need to ask first to see if your friend
likes you kissing him/her

Be careful, some people cannot kiss and remain ‘just
friends’; if you don’t want to take a friendship to
another level, then be sure that your friend
understands why you’re kissing